A social media post about a man leaving $100 in an IGA till for local school children to get “free” sweets has sparked debate, with Austrians divided over whether the act was an innocent gesture or something more sinister.
The anonymous post on a Melbourne Reddit forum explained that a man, who appeared to be in his 30s or 40s, was paying for primary school children at a local IGA to buy sweets “even though he didn’t know them. those’.
“Although it may seem [kind]begs the question: Is it socially acceptable for strangers to buy candy for children they don’t know?” asked the poster.
“In an age where children’s safety is a priority, should we be more careful, even with acts of kindness?”
Comments were divided, with half saying it could be a sign of potential caution and describing it as a “red flag,” while others thought it was harmless.
Commentators weigh in
One person who believed it was “polite behaviour” said: “I would be very concerned if my child was given free sweets by a stranger, anywhere, anytime.”
“This is a massive red flag, coming from someone who works in the child protection space,” added another.
“While it may seem like a nice gesture, it’s important to consider the implications of an adult buying things for children they don’t know. These types of actions should be handled with care, as such actions can blur boundaries and raise concerns about the motives behind them.
A third said the man “sounds like a creep.”
“The first rule of a pedophile is to take care of parents and gain their trust,” they claimed. “They are your children and they don’t need strangers buying them things.”
However, some defended the man and said there was no indication he was waiting for the children but simply paid at the counter and left.
“Let’s not try to spin this into something it’s not,” one Redditor urged.
“If it’s anonymous and he has no interaction with the kids, how can he care?” asked another.
Others claimed that people have been “brainwashed” by social media and true crime podcasts into thinking that everyone has an ulterior motive.
“If this was a female, would that also be something to watch out for?” one user pointed out.
“This is so sad,” said another. “Imagine doing something beautiful and being called a pedo. We are broken.â€
Some Melbourne residents believed the gesture was possible for Halloween, which is this Thursday.
“Maybe just trying to do something good on Halloween,” one woman suggested.
What is grooming?
The term “grooming” refers to when a person prepares a child and their parents, caregivers and environment for sexual abuse.
It can involve building a bond of trust with a child or family for weeks, months or even years.
“This allows the caregiver to spend more and more time with the child. It lays the groundwork for sexual abuse later, – according to Child Growth Network.
Caring for a child can sometimes involve buying them gifts or giving them special attention.
Parents are divided on this issue
News.com.au spoke to parenting experts and parents to get their views on the situation and how they would react if their child accepted gifts from an unknown adult.
Nama Winston, Parenting Editor at baby potexpressed serious concern, seeing this kind of gesture as a possible precursor to abuse.
“Do you know how many child abduction cases start like this? Offer to buy things for the kids? she said.
“I wouldn’t want my child to receive ‘gifts’ from an adult they don’t know. The sad reality is that predators use all kinds of tactics, many of which those of us who aren’t predators don’t even know about.” they would think of them.
Ms Winston explained that as a single parent, she has had to be extra vigilant, regularly speaking to her 17-year-old son about the importance of never keeping secrets from her, especially if an adult asks.
“The supermarket can accept this “benevolent” offer, without realizing until later that there are conditions or motivations from the “donor”, she pointed out.
“They have a duty of care to the public to assess the risks and I would think that anything aimed at children should be thoroughly investigated before being offered to customers.”
However, Jordana Shell, a mother of three boys, said we shouldn’t be so quick to assume bad intentions or jump to conclusions.
“We like to assume that an old man being kind to children has an agenda,” Ms Shell explained, “but the truth is there are good people in the world who just want to be good.”
“Having said that, I wish my kids would ask me first to make sure and explain that it’s okay when mom is there.”
Leah Goulis, a mother of two and baby potLifestyle editor, said she also feels conflicted about the issue.
“I think it’s a little strange, but also a little sad that if this man was just trying to bring joy to children, people would be forced to think that way,” she said.
If her children accepted an offer directly from someone, she would be concerned, but not so concerned if they found a random money note.
“I would still encourage them not to accept it,” Ms Goulis added.
“My kids know there is such a thing as a safe stranger” because there is! But they know not to take gifts from them, go anywhere with them or tell them personal information.
IGA will respond
Acts of kindness like this are apparently common at IGAs across the country.
“Our stores are truly at the heart of their communities and every day we witness inspiring acts of kindness,” an IGA spokesperson told news.com.au.
“Whether it’s paying it forward with Halloween treats, providing food for those in need, or coming together to support a family going through tough times, we’re grateful to be a part of such communities of incredible where people really look out for each other.â€
Is “foreign risk” still relevant?
It follows the release of the Australian Sexual Offense Statistical (ASOS) report in July this year, which detailed the prevalence and nature of sexual offenses across Australia.
The report found that the rate of sexual offenses between 2021 and 2022 was 40.11 per 100,000 residents aged 10 and over.
More than nine out of 10 sex offenders were men.
About a third of the offenders were a non-family member known to the victim (32%), a third were either an intimate partner (15%) or another member of the victim’s family (19%), and a fifth were a foreigner (21%).
This latest finding suggests that although the term “stranger danger” is commonly used, it may not truly reflect the reality of who most offenders typically are.
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